You may have heard of “ubuntu”, the ancient African humanitarian philosophy that “I am, because you are” or “I am, because of you”. It was Nelson Mandela who popularized it in the West during his presidency in the ‘90s. Some argue that it was actually the inspirational foundation of the Truth and Reconciliation Commission during apartheid.
Over the past 15 years while straddling life between the US and Kenya, I have experienced the beauty of “ubuntu” in fleeting moments with the village and tribal women, the children and any number of women shaping change in that country.
The village women sit in circle with us and tell us we need to slow down and be closer to our families if we want a quality life
It is particularly palpable with women who live closest to nature, wake up in it and listen to it. They are the ones who scold me “pole, pole” (slowly, slowly) when I am firing on all cylinders to get something done. They are telling me to knock it off. They say, “you have the watch, we have the time!” We laugh about it, but underneath it’s their way of saying “Remember, life is about something more”
“Ubuntu” is about a deep, intense open-heartedness so seductive that it keeps me going back over and over to Kenya.
Farming women operate from a deep, warm sense of connectedness, living amidst the sounds, touch, and rhythms of nature.
Recently, a friend of mine from the States had to fly to Kenya because of his wife’s health issues. I witnessed “ubuntu” at an all new level.
When he arrived, I wanted to make sure he had support so I made a few calls to my friends and in less than 24 hours dozens of Kenyans from all walks of life flocked to his side – to someone they had never met but knew “because you are, I am”.
Waiters at my favorite restaurant at the height of a busy lunch hour stopped to reassure him, “I am so sorry you are going through these difficulties. Know that your wife will have a speedy recovery and she will be fine.” ….Ubuntu!
One of many waiters at the Fairview Hotel in Nairobi who displayed simple acts of “ubuntu” to a fellow being in need
Francis, a middle-aged Kenyan driver overheard our conversation in the van about my friend’s wife. When we arrived from the airport to the hotel, he got out and stood face to face with my friend, eyes locked and large hand securely placed on his shoulder. In a deep, calm, prophetic voice he said, “There is nothing to fear. She is being provided for and will heal. You may feel troubled inside right now, but know she will make a complete recovery”…. Ubuntu!
The intense kind-heartedness that seeps from the soul through the eyes of these Kenyan men (porters at the Fairview hotel) made them messengers of healing each time they uttered a comforting word to my friend.
Others immediately stopped their busy schedules and just showed up! “What can I do?” “How can I reach you?” “What do you need?” They came to the hospital, got him situated at a short-term apartment, invited him for dinner, helped him navigate the medical community.
Boyd Varty, illuminates this timeless African spirituality in a Ted Talk. He explains, “In the collective consciousness of Africa we get to experience the deepest parts of our humanity through our interactions with others. Our own well-being is deeply tied to the well-being of others”
All I know, is we could all use more of it. And my friend’s wife is on the road to recovery!
